My dear sweet B has spent quite a bit of her almost 11 years feeling a bit awkward; at least since she was around 3, when we discovered that her vision was so bad that she literally focused around one inch from the bridge of her nose.
Prior to age 3, B was a complete dare devil. My husband I were seriously concerned that she may become one of the Bam Margera or Tony Hawk types……..hardcore thrill seekers. I remember one time at age two, where she jumped from the edge of a piece of playground equipment (that was about 6 feet tall)……..to sweep down and grab the bar in front of her, and she missed………falling flat on her back. I was seriously afraid she had broken her back; but she jumped up and ran to do it again.
As time went by, I came to notice that B seemed to be increasingly crossing her eyes while watching TV or reading a book (which she didn’t much enjoy at that time, and concerned me….bookworm that I am). We truly thought she was being a goof and crossing her eyes on purpose. Soon, however, it became apparent that B had something pretty wrong with her vision, and we got her in as soon as possible to a pediatric ophthalmologist, who confirmed our fears, but quickly got her in very strong glasses…..including a bi-focal. As soon as she had her glasses on her face, B became different; she was cautious, a bit more introverted, and it was obvious that she wasn’t terribly comfortable with herself. B lost that inner daredevil when she could finally see the fears in front of her, but in its place came a brilliant, gifted child who learned to read just months after her 3rd birthday.
B is a delightful girl, that is full of heart, soul and sensitivity. There are times when her discomfort with herself is hard for her mama to take, because I see how beautiful she is inside and out. She never feels too comfortable in front of a camera, and so often I am asking her to “relax, and act natural, sweetheart”; but take away her glasses, and there she is underneath, confident and loving the capture of that side of her with the camera. To me of course, she is beautiful either way. I am so happy to know that she can see all of the world around her, and that her glasses have helped her to find her inner intellectual. I know that would never have happened, as she was nearly blind, if she didn’t have the glasses to help her. I can also see that she is so happy finding her inner”glamour girl” when she takes them off, and seeing that confidence is reassuring. I guess my job as her mama is to help her find the balance, and as finding balance in my daily life is a major chore for me, I pray I am up to the task.