I recently read a post from Mandy at A Sorta Fairytale, about being the Mom to a young baby and how overwhelming it can be, and I remember those days. I remember feeling so exhausted, even though it seemed as if I was doing nothing (or at least I oftentimes had nothing visible to show for it). I remember sometimes feeling as if every day blended into the next, and that I was surely alone and no one on the planet remembered I existed. But, like Mandy, I also felt many more moments of absolute bliss. Especially when the girls were still nursing, and they relied on me for nutrition, comfort, love…everything. I have never ever felt so much like I had a purpose on the planet.
As I have said in previous posts, I became a parent when I was 19 years old. My “baby” is now almost 9, and most of my friends, and my husband’s friends are just now having their babies…as is pretty common nowadays. Honestly, that’s been of the hardest things to adapt to. I now have some idea how a person who is single their whole life and are surrounded by couples must feel, or a couple that is childless….when their friends and acquaintances all have young children. I have oftentimes felt like my husband and I are “odd couple out,”as friends we spent years hanging out with have naturally chosen to gravitate toward spending time with other couples with kids closer to, or exactly the same age as theirs. Of course I’ve felt some resentment, and a whole lot of loneliness…but I guess that’s just how life flows sometimes. My husband and I have floated downstream, and are seeing all of perspective of the river behind us; while our friends are several miles behind us, in different waters. Luckily, within the last few years or so, we’ve been lucky to meet up with people that catch us in the middle…..or at least welcome us swimming upstream a to meet them there. (Okay, my river analogy is going a bit far now).
When I saw that paper heart camera’s challenge for this week was a self portrait (never my favorite thought), using the theme “nourish”…..I knew right away what nourishes me (and their are several things, but one really jumped out). A cup of coffee. Pretty simple and probably pretty common. I have a few “indulgences” in my life, and #1 is probably *really* good quality coffee. I will drink Starbucks, Local fresh roasts, special blends, etc…but NOTHING cheap like Folgers or Maxwell House. Ever. Sorry. And yes, I recognize this makes me a bit of a snob. A beautiful cup of coffee nourishes my soul, gives me time to relax in those few sips and absorb the aroma, the heat, the mojo and love in the cup. For a few moments every morning (and sometimes when I stop by a beautiful little indy coffeehouse, or a Starbucks), I am simply me. Creative, overly sensitive, loving, musical, kind, and ridiculously loyal. I feel relaxed, happy and…..nourished.
What nourishes you? Let me know….I’d love to hear from you!